stanzas on naething

    extempore epistle to gavin hamilton, esq.

    to you, sir, this summons i've sent,

    pray, whip till the pownie is freathing;

    but if you demand what i want,

    i honestly answer you—naething.

    ne'er scorn a poor poet like me,

    for idly just living and breathing,

    while people of every degree

    are busy employed about—naething.

    poor centum-per-centum may fast,

    and grumble his hurdies their claithing,

    he'll find, when the balance is cast,

    he's gane to the devil for-naething.

    the courtier cringes and bows,

    ambition has likewise its plaything;

    a coronet beams on his brows;

    and what is a coronet-naething.

    some quarrel the presbyter gown,

    some quarrel episcopal graithing;

    but every good fellow will own

    their quarrel is a' about—naething.

    the lover may sparkle and glow,

    approaching his bonie bit gay thing:

    but marriage will soon let him know

    he's gotten—a buskit up naething.

    the poet may jingle and rhyme,

    in hopes of a laureate wreathing,

    and when he has wasted his time,

    he's kindly rewarded wi'—naething.

    the thundering bully may rage,

    and swagger and swear like a heathen;

    but collar him fast, i'll engage,

    you'll find that his courage is—naething.

    last night wi' a feminine whig—

    a poet she couldna put faith in;

    but soon we grew lovingly big,

    i taught her, her terrors were naething.

    her whigship was wonderful pleased,

    but charmingly tickled wi' ae thing,

    her fingers i lovingly squeezed,

    and kissed her, and promised her—naething.

    the priest anathemas may threat—

    predicament, sir, that we're baith in;

    but when honour's reveille is beat,

    the holy artillery's naething.

    and now i must mount on the wave—

    my voyage perhaps there is death in;

    but what is a watery grave?

    the drowning a poet is naething.

    and now, as grim death's in my thought,

    to you, sir, i make this bequeathing;

    my service as long as ye've ought,

    and my friendship, by god, when ye've naething.